Black Do Crack
black do crack is an exploration of the mythology of the strong black woman. The mother who is not allowed to crack but is dying under the pressure of that fiction. Drugs and food. Escaping. Stuck. Moving...
I wake in the depth of night. When I close my eyes, I feel something is blocking my view. I can‘t breathe deep or stand up from my bed. It feels like something is holding me down. I try to turn my head right or left, but it is impossible. I try to scream. I can’t find my voice. I think maybe I am dead, but I still feel that I am breathing. The dead don’t breathe. I start to pray as millions of questions pump up my mind. I ask myself, have I done well in this world? What should I have done better? All the while my bed and pillow turning to a swimming pool of sweat. Then suddenly a breeze blows and everything changes. I become myself again. I wake up. Am in a 6’ x 9’ rectangle with metal rods and a door padlocked. I look to my right someone is standing in another 6’ x 9’, so also on my left. This pattern continues ahead of and behind me. What has happened to me? Have I become an animal in a cage? What day is it? What month, what year? I ask, but the only response I get is tears. Then a voice suddenly says, “You are going back to where you come from. You are being deported.”